Piece or Peace

I though I could count on myself to breathe but all this running got my lungs burning.
       with answers I don't have.

If you can just reach inside of me and get what you need to love me.
            I won't feel so lonely anymore.

Going back to what ?

I'm going back to school in August.

I'm excited about it I would like to further my education, I once read a poster that said you can never be over educated and overdressed and I believe in both.   I'm going for Early Childhood Education ( yes I want to be a teacher) I'm 24 and going back to school (yikes). I need to do something with my life at times I feel like I'm drifting in out of spaces. I'm a little nervous going back I remember when I first went to college orientation I had a panic attack and called my mom to calm me down.  I know it's different now and I'm a lot older but when I think about what's going to happen and things that I have to do I feel a little a bit of panic.  I"m a naturally shy person ( I don't know if it's because I'm an  only child and I was around adults most of the time) I panic that I'm not smart enough and I won't go any further then my pre-req classes. I panic that I'm stuck with people younger then me ( yes, I know I'm not that old) but having the possibility of facing or talking to some one in the early 20's scares me a bit.

Onto the next chapter of this story

I'm a virgin and I'm single.

I don't regret being a virgin and if you're thinking I'm saving myself because religious reasons that's not it. I just never thought the few men I've been with wasn't worth them taking that from me. ( yay women power). I have my moments when I'm regret my decisions because I could of tap many of asses!!!

I know I need to find someone deserving of my awesomeness that is my vagina .  I know,  I know my time is not up yet ( sounds like my death) In away this virginity is a burden to me.When people find you're a virgin they either look at you with an Awwwww look it's a cute wittle bunny or Dammmm Really.. ??  I feel like getting up in there face  and saying YES really I'm sorry I didn't loose it when I was 14 ya damn skank  but I smile politely and say nothing.

I wonder if I should loose it with a friend ( wiggles eyebrows suggestively ) I want to experience sexual passion and I do want to do it!! (heh)  I know this is suppose to be all apart of life sex, love and becoming yourself and these all the things I want but what would I have to trade for all these things. I mean I'm pretty sure I can call some one and say lets get down and they're all for it but I don't know if I can follow through . This is a battle that I am always thinking about and it never gets any easier as more time passes.

This time.

I forgot there was you hiding beneath my heart.

fuckyeahpsychedelics:
“Ganesha: Lord Of Success” by Valentina

smiles are frozen

how long would it take for you to be happy..

Tell Me. Tell Me.

I want to know your secrets

your fears and all the in-between

but never let you know any of mine.

most awkward kisses but greatest hugs.

I'm such an awkward conversationalist when it comes to guys. I totally had an opportunity and I blew it.



that is all.