MOveS

I applied for a job last week and I got an interview, The only downside it was further (much further ) from where I live and the hours were from 7:30-5:00pm. That's alot for me to get up very early like around 5am to be over there by 7:30 so I told the supervisor to take out my resume and forget about it! (don't worry I didn't say it like that) I was actually professional when I sent out the e-mail.

So with that done it's made me think on what am I doing with my life. I don't want to do this job  forever. There are people here that retired from this job and I don't want to be that old person who retires from this job!!!  I get so comfortable in certain positions in my life I forget to look forward and keep walking, I'm afraid of starting over but then again who isn't. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT IN MY LIFE!!

I can go back to school and further my education but I really don't want to, my mother pushed me so much in High School that I couldn't fail anything so going back to school leaves a bad taste in my mouth, but with out those papers what am I to do ? I would like a career in makeup but people demanding and pickey doesn't suit me well. ( ugh seeing all this I realize how childish I am).

I wouldn't mind going somewhere and and becoming a different person I want to change my name my birthday my personality and see where it lands me. I wonder what would it take for me to leave all this behind and if I really could. It's easy to say I want to leave but when it comes down to it will I ever?