You're underneath my skin and I'm itching to get you out.

I can't say that I'm afraid of many things really it's just mostly zombies (because people coming back from the dead and eating other people, why wouldn't you be afraid). The things  that have been happening in  last year and into the new year has made me restless. I've said this before and I will say it many times after I am 25 yrs old and I'm still a virgin. I don't think I've come to terms with that. It's been awhile since I've had a relationship and the ones that I did have really didn't even last the long to make seem like it was an actual one.

Things were fine when I was 22 and even 23 or even 24 and I was still a virgin but now being 25  it's starting to bother me a bit. I know people seem happy and interested when I say that I'm a virgin to me they think  is a medal of honor (which hey that's cool I dig medal's  and awards) I lived it 25 years and I'm afraid I'm always going to be this way.

I'm afraid that I'm going to be alone and barren (not the barren part, I mean childless). I hate when people say "I really don't understand why you're still single (well dammit me too) so I shrug my shoulder and smile politely and say I don't know either. I really don't know! That's the crazy part I dress up I dress down I play all the right parts and I smile at all the right moments and I'm still single at 25.I don't want to wait till I'm 30 to be with the guy  I want to marry or be with a guy. I've been waiting so long

Now that I'm reading this back.. this seems awfully whiny which I'm okay with, I don't want to be 25 and single I don't want to be 30 and still a virgin even though 30 seems far off now. I'm seeing life like that clearly and it makes me sad.