I wave my hands in the air

Apparently I'm not  finish in my self destruction of love.

I heard from a friend that's he's been talking to this other girl (22 yr old) and calling her when he's lonely and they've hung out a few times. When she was telling me all of this I zoned out and each pictured each  scene was of them together being happy. At first I didn't know what to think; apart of me want to hide underneath my work desk and just cry and cry and cry the other part of me wanted to call him and demanded answers. She also told me that  he got a new phone and he doesn't have any phones numbers and I got back to that day when I FB messaged him (yes I did that) and I told him to never to contact me again (yes, I was that dramatic).  I told him not to contact me ever again he's just validating my wishes or is he.

This is were the self depreciation begins why am I not good enough to be called on, what is it about myself that he can't call me. I don't want to come off as whiny or needy and  I don't want to beg his  for affections. I just want some answers I guess that's why I still think of him because there are  questions I want to ask.  I want to call him this weekend but I don't want to because I feel like I'm going to get ignored and feel even worst then I am now. It could be a good thing that I don't call and I just forget about him just erase him from my memory I did it once when he moved away , What's stopping me from doing it now?