New Life Please

Monday, August 12, 2013

I'm a lotus in summer


I found out that Ryan has a girlfriend.

 

At first I didn’t know what to think, I mean after what I’ve been through with him I kind of blocked him from my thoughts. I’m over the situation but there was a moment when my heart just stopped.  One thing I learned so far if things aren’t meant to be then they aren’t meant to be. They’re reasons why Ryan and I never got together and they will always be reasons. I have to be happy with the choices   I make and I can’t allow myself to be knocked down by choices other people make.  I’m happy that he’s happy and that’s the god honest truth. Why should I be miserable? Why should that hold me back from loving someone else?

 

Talking about someone else, I got friend-zoned a couple days ago. I can’t say it wasn’t expected but it had a feeling of awww. I got over it though I’m quickly bouncing back when things seem to but a little heart wrenching  I don’t know if I’m use to being friend-zoned or I don’t really give a damn anymore or maybe because I’m not interested. I thought I knew what kind of man I want I mean looks wise ;men with tattoo’s  and beards defiantly holds an appeal to me and I want my man to have tattoo’s up the ying yang and a beard . Am I going to get that? I don’t know I mean it’s a want but is it a must for me? I’m attracted to guys who look like that but what about personality? Can I get a man who looks the way I want and have a great personality to go with that? Am I asking too much?

 

I don’t know what the universe has for me and it drives me a little crazy but I figured if you know what’s going to happen in your future, you make sure to hell that you’ll change your past.  Like I said before I’m happy with the choices I’ve made and I have to stick to that. There is going to be a time and a place where I’m going to find someone to be with and it could be for a minute an hour or even a lifetime it’s going to happen, I have no choice but to believe it will happen, my mom always said my patience was the greatest thing that god gave to me.

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