A kiss on the lips

I'm 26


I wanted to say something with more wisdom but I got nothing. I'm 26 and still a virgin. I told myself I wasn't going to bring up the virginity thing but yup there it is the virgin thing. Some people would wonder what was the big deal and why I bring it up so often. I myself wonder why do I bring it up so often. I guess because I want to have sex I want to experience that connection with someone on a basic level, granted I've had some sexual situations but I haven't gone all the way. I stop my partner before things got to far looking back on things I know it was a good idea because the guys that I've been with have been nothing but jerks.


I recently talked to this guy I knew from High School a couple weeks ago after my birthday and he asked if I had any birthday rompness and my reply was like "Uh no who does sex on there birthday" (insert virgin joke here ) he offered to have the deed done until I told him I was a virgin. I think he got taken back a little but he still offered, Now your probably thinking if I took his offer up or not, I did to a certain extent but the deed wasn't done. I wanted to but I backed out last minute but he was okay about the whole situation we still had fun.  I asked him if he ever had sex with a virgin before and he said no and he was kinda scared but him being the manly man he is said he was scared because he was probably to big for me ( rolls eyes). I didn't hear from him after that . I guess I wasn't at all surprise I think guys are scared when it comes to virgins there is a stigma that we become clingy and extra emotional about it and it should be a special occasion so it should be done right.


I for one had many thoughts about this and couple discussions about  it with my girlfriends. Some of them apparently think my virginity is theirs and I should plan it they way the should with someone I love and I know I'm going to be with for the rest of my days. I don't want that crap I mean yes I would like it to mean something and have a bit a emotional ties with the person I would have sex with but I don't think I would want to stay with the person I had sex with. I don't want to feel that obligation that I have to stay with this person just because they popped my cherry.


My mind may change once I had sex or it may not. I may hook with a guy and have it done or it might be with my boyfriend ( I'm not waiting for marriage that's for sure). I know it's my choice on what I want to do with it. I feel like I have to just accept things the way they are and be happy with it.